Dear Bride,
Firstly, whether you have dreamt of this moment your entire life or it is a dream you have only recently discovered, I want you to know that I share in your excitement and delight in every possible way. And it is because of this that I want to tell you…
The best day of your life
If you are one of my brides, you will know that I will do everything in my power to give you the most incredible, most wonderful, most perfect wedding ceremony on your wedding day…. And while it may very well be the best day of your life so far, I don’t believe that it should be the best day of your life full stop.
I believe this for a few reasons. Firstly, to think the ‘best’ day of your life has come and gone and nothing's ever going to live up to it again, is well, just depressing...
Bride, you will have other days that will bring you untold joy… When you get the keys to a new house, when you achieve a goal that you worked hard for, the birth of a baby or simply catching snowflakes on your tongue. These days will equally fill your heart with the joy and pleasure that you have come to expect of your wedding day.
A life well lived means curating an endless stream of incredible moments… So yes, while your wedding day should be amazing, life should also continue to leave you breathless and giddy and reaching for your loved one, long after your wedding day has passed.
“It doesn’t have to be perfect for it to be amazing”
Next up is that your wedding doesn’t have to be perfect for it to be amazing… This was an insight that a future bride shared with me and I have never forgotten it.
The reason being that I just know that when her wedding day rolls around it is going to be all sorts of amazing! Not only because she is marrying the love of her life but also because she will not be distracted by the pimple she gets 2 days before the wedding, or the fact her florist wasn’t able to source the exact flowers she had envisage or even when two of her guests walk in halfway through her ceremony… And it is because she will be too busy being present and fully immersed in the moment, to worry about something derailing her joy.
Let me tell you, something will go wrong. Your flower girl might sit down halfway down the aisle and not move for love nor money, the bestman might forget the rings and we will have to ask to borrow your parents’ cherished wedding rings (true story) or anything else that you think would be your worst nightmare… But it turns out that is actually the good stuff!!! My advice is to embrace the spontaneous moments as they are what makes it your wedding day and not someone else’s.
The wedding day of your dreams
This next one, I don’t blame you for… Society is squarely responsible. But my dear Bride, you have been lied to. You have been led to believe that your wedding day is all about you and you should be able to have everything you want… But there will be another person standing at the end of the aisle with you and I encourage you to make space for their preferences and for their voice to be heard.
After all, wedding days are not just about pretty dresses, they are about creating marriages… So, begin as you mean to continue. Marry someone who wants to give you the world… But equally be that person for them as well.
“Don’t you want to look your best”
Which leads me onto my next point and listen carefully… You absolutely do not need to lose weight for your wedding day… Neither do you need to undergo fake tanning, teeth whitening, a years’ worth of facials or anything else that does not make you feel good. Your partner is marrying you, for exactly who you are right now. You are already enough, so don’t let anyone make you feel differently.
Oh, what a drag…
And lastly, please don’t worry or stress about your dress… You let that dress dance over the grass, skip down country lanes and glide effortlessly over farm gates… Trail it behind you like you just don’t care and I promise you that not only will you have more fun doing it but your photos will be even better!
Your celebrant,
Mel x
P.S – Grooms, there is no need to feel neglected… Your letter is next!