Let’s settle this once and for all, these… A, E, I, O, U… are vowels. But what we are going to talk about are your amazing, awesome, fantastic wedding vows that everyone will be talking about for the rest of the night.
Vows are the part of your ceremony in which you get to share your intentions, to say the things you love about your partner, to makes some promises or to share some words about whatever the heck you want to, as you get hitched. Great vows are that show stopping moment in your wedding ceremony in which everything else fades away, your guests are zoned in on every word you are saying and time stands still.
But in my experience people can over think them and make them more complicated and stressful than they need to be. So, to get you started I have put together 8 tips and tricks to ensure you knock your wedding vows out of the park.
1.Classic vs Personal
Are you tossing up between traditional vows, that have stood the test of time versus personal vows that speak to who you are, to where you have come from and where you are going to?
Of course, it is a matter of personal preference but in my mind, there is just no going past your words straight from your heart. Personal vows are always my absolute favourite part of your wedding ceremony, they are engaging and they ensure that your wedding ceremony is not only a reflection of you but that they contribute and add to the feeling you want to create for your wedding.
But possibly most importantly they ensure that you start off your marriage intentionally. By their very nature they encourage moments of reflection as well as an envisaging of what your future holds.
2. To Google or not to Google…
We live in the day and age of google first and think second. But on this one occasion I would encourage you to think first and google second. I find that when couples have googled vows, they subconsciously get an idea of what vows ‘should sound like’. I tell all my couples that your vows don’t have to sound any which way. Vows are simply two people who love each other deeply sharing some words from the heart with one another. You just can’t google that stuff. But after you have done your homework, have a first draft, if you still want to google it, go right ahead.
3. Getting started
My celebrant tips is as soon as you decide you want to write your own vows, start a little note in your phone, diary or anywhere that works for you. That way anytime you think of something that you think might be vows material, you can jot it down. Then when it comes time to ‘write’ your vows you are really just editing all the golden moments you already have saved. Presto, you have yourself some killer vows!
I also advocate for starting sooner rather than later. I have seen too many couples set on writing their own vows leave it to the last moment and it just doesn’t happen. In my thinking your vows should be a done deal about two weeks prior to your wedding.
4. Take your guest on a journey
Really good vows are like a roller coaster ride, in that they take the listener on a journey. Your wedding vows can be funny, sweet, romantic, relevant or heartfelt but they should have your guests feeling all the feels. You might like to aim to make your partner laugh at least once and get a little teary as well.
Your wedding vows should also feel and be about the two of you. Everyone that is with you on your wedding day is there because they love you, so let ‘you’ shine through. It guarantees that your vows will be like no other but please ensure that they are also appropriate. While yes, your vows should totally feel like you, they should also leave everyone feeling uplifted and not cringing. Picture your partners grandmother in the front row, if you would say it in front of Nana then it is probably safe for your wedding ceremony.
5. How short is too short and how long is too long?
I often get asked how long vows should be… I truly believe there is no right or wrong answer to this question. In my time I have heard some truly amazing short vows and I have equally heard some jaw dropping longer vows.
I think what is more important is that you say all the things that need saying, to start your marriage off right. Instead maybe have a chat with your partner and get a sense of how long theirs will be (from a few lines to a page) and work out a happy medium. And if you are still worried, send them through to me and I am happy to take a look for you.
6. Read them
So, you have written your vows and you can picture yourself saying them to the one you love most on your wedding day. Your next job is to read them, and no I don’t mean in your head, I mean aloud. Wait until no one is home and then read them out loud to yourself a couple of times or until the words flow smoothly. I even do this trick for your whole wedding script (yep imagine me walking around my house in my slippers reading out your wedding!) You might just be surprised how much you have to tweak your wording to get the flow that you imagine in your head just right. But after you are crazy happy with them and the words just flow off your tongue, put them away. We want to make sure there is still plenty of emotion on the day.
7. My offer to you
All my couples would tell you I am only ever a call, text or email away, this goes for vows as well. So please feel very free to send me a copy of your vows a few weeks out from the wedding and I would be more than happy to take a look at them for you. But I do ask when you send them through you let me know what you are wanting from me. Do you want me to print them out and bring along a copy on the day or are you hitting me up for some real and gritty feedback to ensure you knock them out of the park?
But more than anything else remember that I am always here to help… With pinning on button holes, handling any last-minute hiccups and with helping you to write some vows that wow! (I promise they won’t be nearly as cheesy as that last line).
8. And like a bad pick up line I am going to tell you to smile…
I have left the most important to last… While getting married is serious business it is also meant to be a joyous celebration of your love. So, for heaven’s sake, smile, laugh, cry, do whatever is real for you in that incredible and amazing moment… But more than anything else be present and let the joy and emotion flow! You can thank me later after you receive your photos!
Your celebrant,
Mel x
P.S I know I said not to google it… But if you are going to, here is a good place to start:
https://www.wedshed.com.au/how-to-write-your-own-wedding-vows-a-guide/
Photo Credit: Stories With Mel